I'm so fucking centered right now
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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