so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
try to milk me bitch
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