The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize