If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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