Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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