Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
