I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
