her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
