I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
