return my video game
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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