I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
