Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
