I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
