He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We just shotgunned beers for America
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize