I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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