You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
