I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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