If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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