but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize