I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize