I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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