i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
