You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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