You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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