just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize