i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize