Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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