We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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