I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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