Im at strip club and am horny
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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