can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
