Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
