im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Can you bring me the toilet please
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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