kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
