He disabled his match.com account in front of me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
