yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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