Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
