i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
