he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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