dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm at about main and main street
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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