I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
