Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Randomize
