guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize