So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
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I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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