It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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