Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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