And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
