If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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