Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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