My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
pray to the hookup gods
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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