listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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