is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
