no, he came in my armpit
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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