I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
