Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
