Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He better not be in your backpack
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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