Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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