No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
