How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
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low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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