No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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